


Keep Her Close

by catrasredemption (dimensionhoppingrose)



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Bow and Glimmer aren't there long but Bow especially is worth it I promise, Brainwashing, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Child Abuse, passing appearances by Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime, they're gay dorks what do you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24639352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimensionhoppingrose/pseuds/catrasredemption
Summary: Adora scrubbed her eyes viciously, sniffing and trying to bring herself back under control. She was starting to come down from the panic, and already feeling stupid. She’d really just had a meltdown because Catra wasn’t in bed with her. How pathetic was that?“I’m s-sorry,” she stuttered through uneven breaths, starting to pull away. Catra held her tighter.“No, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay, you’re not okay. But you’re allowed to be not okay, remember?” Adora relaxed slightly in her grip, nodding once. “Okay. Will you tell me what happened?”--Adora's bad dreams don't come as often as Catra's. But they're just as bad when they do.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 557





	Keep Her Close

**Author's Note:**

> Idk I wrote a Catra thing, so I had to write an Adora thing too.
> 
> (or maybe I'm testing the waters to see if a multi-chapter thing I've been working on would go over well who knows)

“Catra?” She was so still, so broken, so small. It was terrifying. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

She scooped her… friend? Enemy? _Catra_. Her Catra… into her arms. Catra gasped in uneven, stuttering breaths, barely there. Barely alive. _No no no no_ …

She hugged Catra close, pressing her face into Catra’s neck. She heard the footsteps coming closer, but didn’t look up. What did it matter who it was? What did anything matter…

“Failure.”

Adora’s head snapped up, eyes wide. She wasn’t on Horde Prime’s ship anymore. She was in the black garnet room, Shadow Weaver standing over her. “I always had such high hopes for you,” the sorceress crowed, kneeling to brush the hair out of Adora’s face. “But you couldn’t even keep this worthless waste alive, could you?”

She pulled Catra a little closer, as if her arms could shield her from the caustic words. “It’s _your_ fault,” she bit back, surprising herself. “Every single that she did to end up on that ship was because of you.”

“ _My_ fault?” Shadow Weaver laughed cruelly. “I told you she was _your_ responsibility. _You’re_ the one who couldn’t protect her.”

It was like a slap in the face. “I… I tried!” Adora stuttered, shaking her head. “I tried to protect her, I tried to save her—”

“You must not have tried very hard, then. After all—”

“You broke her.” Shadow Weaver’s voice warped, distorted for a moment, as her body changed into a new shape. Horde Prime. “She risked her life for yours. She was so hurt, and so scared, and felt so worthless that trading her life to keep you alive sounded like the best plan to her. It didn’t even take that much work to take her mind for myself. You’d already done such a good job at breaking her down.”

Adora glared at him, tears welling in her eyes. “I did _not_. I protected her, I did everything I could to—”

_“You never protected me!”_

Catra’s voice echoed around Adora; she jumped, whirling around, and saw… herself. Smaller, younger… innocent. Watching Shadow Weaver hold Catra in a magical vice.

 _“Not in any way that would put you on Shadow Weaver’s bad side!_ ”

She watched as the younger her put herself between Shadow Weaver and Catra, even while the words rang in her ears. She had protected Catra… hadn’t she?

_“Just do what she says, and she won’t hurt you.”_

_“Why do you always have to fight with her? She wouldn’t act like that if you behaved better.”_

_“You_ are _kind of disrespectful_.”

Was that really her? How many times had she excused Shadow Weaver’s behavior? How many times had she said some variation of, “ _Just be good and she’ll leave you alone_ ”?

“ _When you left, who do you think took the fall for you? Who was protecting me then?_ ”

Catra was in her arms… and also in front of her, eyes glowing green, that horrible smile on her lips. “Who _really_ put me on this ship, Adora? Who _really_ led me here? Shadow Weaver with her abuse? Or _you_ , with all your excuses and running away?”

Adora looked away, squeezing her eyes shut. She couldn’t see Catra like that. “I… I didn’t…”

“Who’s fault is it _really_ that I’m dead?”

“Shut up. _Shut up_!”

A finger pressed against her forehead. She looked up uncertainly, eyes wide… and there was Catra. The corrupted Catra from the portal, with half of her upper body dissolved into blackness.

“Who do you _really_ blame for all of this, Adora?”

Adora shot up in bed, eyes wide. She swallowed a few gasps of air, reaching blindly to the side where she knew she would find Catra’s warm, fuzzy body, comfortable and asleep, just like—

The bed was empty.

What? No. Adora looked over to find that Catra’s side of the bed didn’t look like it had been touched. She had been here when Adora had fallen asleep… hadn’t she? She… She had _been here_ , right?

“Catra?” She looked around. Nothing. The balcony was empty. The little nook under the window that Catra liked to nap in when the sun was in just the right place was empty. The bathroom door was open, so she wasn’t in there? “Catra? Catra!”

Adora threw herself out of bed, tripping, as she hurried to the door and ripped it open. She was in Bright Moon. Right. Of course. She had come back to Bright Moon with Glimmer and Bow after defeating Horde Prime… and Catra had been there, hadn’t she?

Hadn’t she?

She didn’t remember running out of the room or down the hall. She wasn’t even sure _where_ she was going. She knew she was looking for Catra, but where was she? Where could she even start to look? How—

“Ow!”

And then she was running into something. Knocking it over. Falling back to the ground as well. “Yeesh, Adora… Adora?”

The blonde looked up, wide-eyed. It was Glimmer, watching her, clearly concerned. “Glimmer!” She grabbed the young queen by the shoulders, maybe holding a little too hard. “Have you seen Catra? Catra’s here, right? Catra is here. She didn’t die. She’s here, she—”

“Adora, what are you—”

“I’m not crazy!” Adora interrupted, shaking. “She was here, she came home with us, she… I…”

Glimmer blinked a few times, then gently reached out, taking Adora by the shoulders. They disappeared in a shimmer of light.

* * *

“This is stupid.”

“Yeah, but you know wanna do it.”

Catra rolled her eyes. She was lying on one couch, Bow sitting across the table on another, mouth open wide. Waiting for her to throw the last jerry tart in it. “You have great aim. I trust you. Do it.”

“Okay, okay.”

She leaned forward, aiming carefully, preparing to throw…

And Glimmer appeared, kneeling on the floor, holding on to a clearly very distressed blonde.

“Adora!”

Catra launched the jelly tart without thinking and bolted to Adora, barely noticing Bow’s yelp when it hit him in the eye. Adora looked up at the sound of her voice, but didn’t quite register what was happening until Catra’s arms were around her.

“Catra!”

And then Catra was being crushed. She grimaced slightly, but held Adora tight, gently carding her fingers through Adora’s hair. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s all right. It was a dream, right?”

Adora pressed her face into Catra’s neck, nodding once. Catra looked at her, then at Glimmer. “Can you…?”

“Yeah.” Glimmer put one hand on each of their shoulders. Catra squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on Adora even as the nauseated feeling stirred up in her stomach. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. Adora hadn’t reacted at all to the change. “You okay?” Glimmer asked. Catra met her gaze, and nodded.

“I’ve got her. Thanks, Sparkles.”

Glimmer gave her a smile before disappearing again. Catra turned her focus back to Adora, and settled in to ride out… whatever this was. Adora was even worse at talking about her issues than Catra was. She needed to go through the whole spectrum of her emotions before she could find the right words.

So Catra held her, humming and rocking her gently while she cried, playing with her hair, whatever she could think of. As long as she was here, it didn’t matter.

“W-Where were you?” Adora finally asked quietly, still clinging to Catra.

“I wasn’t tired yet, remember?” They were attempting to be more self aware and remember that they didn’t _always_ have to be clinging to one another. They could go to bed at separate times, or even spend an entire day apart. “I was hanging out with Glimmer and Bow… what happened?”

Adora scrubbed her eyes viciously, sniffing and trying to bring herself back under control. She was starting to come down from the panic, and already feeling stupid. She’d really just had a meltdown because Catra wasn’t in bed with her. How pathetic was that?

“I’m s-sorry,” she stuttered through uneven breaths, starting to pull away. Catra held her tighter.

“No, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not _okay_ , you’re not okay. But you’re allowed to be not okay, remember?” Adora relaxed slightly in her grip, nodding once. “Okay. Will you tell me what happened?”

It took another moment for Adora to gather herself and talk. “I… I was dreaming about… on Prime’s ship, after he short-circuited the chip, and you fell…” Catra winced. She only had very vague memories of that after the initial burning pain. The clearest memory she was being in Adora’s arms and hearing the tears in her voice and god she _hated_ it when Adora cried… “But it… changed. Shadow Weaver was there, and we were in the black garnet room. She was telling me I was failure if I couldn’t even keep you alive, and you were _my_ responsibility, and she — I let her be so _terrible_ to you, how could I…”

Catra was wide-eyed, words chasing themselves around in her head. They’d talked about this — both the past and how they shouldn’t interrupt each other when the other one was talking about something hard, but this… was different.

“Adora.” Catra pulled away, lowering herself a little to find Adora’s eyes. “She screwed us both over, remember? She _wanted_ us to hate each other. She wanted _you_ to hate _me_.” Adora nodded once, wiping her eyes. “Say it, please? Nothing she did to me was your fault, and you were not solely responsible for taking care of me.”

“Nothing…” Adora stopped to take a deep breath, trying to bring herself back under control. “Nothing she did to you was… was my fault. I was not solely responsible for taking care of you.”

Catra gave her a small smile. “I know you don’t actually believe it, but thank you. What else happened?”

The shaking was starting to slow now, Adora’s breathing returning to normal. “Shadow Weaver turned into Horde Prime, talking about how easy it was to manipulate and brainwash you because I… I already broke you.” That bastard was lucky he was already dead, Catra thought fiercely. “And he turned into _you_ , but not… you-you, the brainwashed hivemind you, and you kept pushing about who’s fault it _really_ was that you were dead, and…”

Her voice drifted off. Did she _have_ to tell Catra this part? Some things could be secret, right? But Catra was watching her, waiting for an end to the story. And was how was Adora supposed to lie to that face?

“Then it was… the version of you from the portal…” Catra’s ears automatically went down, the way they always did when someone brought up the portal. Adora had to struggle not to backpedal and say forget it. “And you asked me who I really blame for everything. And… then I woke up. And then I freaked out because you weren’t here and I was half asleep and questioning if you actually existed. Glimmer must think I’m insane.”

“She does, but for other reasons,” Catra assured Adora, squeezing her shoulders. “Come on.”

She stood, pulling her girlfriend with her. Adora was a little shaky, but managed to walk the five feet to the bed, where she gratefully collapsed. Catra sat next to her, taking her hand.

“How do you do this?” Adora asked after a moment, wiping her eyes with her other hand.

“Huh?”

“The… The nightmares.” Adora waved her hand weakly. For every one truly terrifying dream Adora had (as opposed to the ones where she just relived battles over and over until she woke up), Catra had at least five. Multiple nights of waking up, still half stuck in whatever horrors she had seen, grappling with reality, crying and clinging to Adora, or immediately bolting out of bed to escape the feeling of being trapped. “How do you deal with… with _this_ every night? Feeling like this, waking up terrified, not knowing where you are…”

Humans were _not_ made to deal with this, Adora decided firmly. Catra considered the question for a moment, then lightly tugged Adora’s arm until she was lying on her side, head resting in Catra’s lap. She played Adora’s hair for a moment before speaking.

“I don’t know. Repetition? S’how I got used to Shadow Weaver’s crap. Eventually you learn to deal with it or you go insane.”

“That’s it?” Adora wasn’t particularly patient. She didn’t want to _wait_ for things to happen.

“Pretty much. Perfuma says feelings take time. A lot. I mean she says it a _lot_.” Catra rolled her eyes. “Maybe… you should talk to her about stuff.”

Adora stiffened slightly, jaw clenching. “I don’t need—”

“Yeah, yeah, big bad Adora, never needs help, I know.” Catra waved her off. “But that’s pretty much your only option if you want anything to get better.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“I’m not _wise_ , I just try to deal with my problems in a way that doesn’t involve transforming into and eight-foot tall, muscular, gorgeous blonde goddess and punching stuff.”

Adora smirked, turning so she was looking up at Catra. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

“Ugh, shut up.” Catra pushed Adora’s face away; she laughed, feeling a little better at least. She settled back into Catra’s lap, looking up at her with absolute love in her eyes.

“You’re amazing.”

Catra looked down, tilting her head. “What?”

“You deal with this stuff all the time, and you’re coping mechanisms are… definitely better than mine. Not that turning into an eight-foot tall muscular, gorgeous blonde isn’t great, but…”

“Maybe running off to punch stuff isn’t the best way to handle your problems,” Catra finished. “Weird, huh? Something we learned in the Horde was bad.”

“What?” Adora feigned shocked. “I don’t believe you.”

Catra laughed, leaning down to kiss her. “Dork.”

“But you love me.”

“For _some_ reason.”

They sat in comfortable silence, Catra playing with Adora’s hair. Adora snuggled closer, letting her eyes drift shut. “Hey, dummy, this is a terrible sleeping position. Get up so we can snuggle right.”

“Uuuuuuuuuugh, making me _move_.”

“Yeah, so you can be comfortable. How evil.”

“I thought you’d changed.” Adora pouted, sitting up. “I’ve been betrayed.”

“Sure have. What’re you gonna do?”

Adora smirked, then pounced, knocking Catra over. They laughed as they landed on the bed; Adora settled on top of Catra, taking a deep breath and pressing her ear against Catra’s chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. She smiled, closing her eyes. “I love you,” she whispered. Catra hugged Adora close, and Adora could hear the purr building in her chest.

“I love you too.”


End file.
